What to say when they begin asking the awkward questions?
On top of your favourite Chinese New Year traditions and decorating your home red, there’s one more thing you have to deal with: your relatives. Although you’re happy to see them, it can get strange and embarrassing when they begin to ask awkward questions – even if they think they’re well-meaning ones. Other than avoiding them outright, why not try this humorous game plan first and see if you can win this time round?
#1 If it’s something along the lines of ‘Got boyfriend already?’ or ‘Still no promotion?’
These relatives can interrogate like no one else, and Chinese New Year is an opportunity for them to ask questions about your career, salary and love life. What to do? You can either make yourself busy eating and drinking – anything to keep your mouth full so you can’t speak – or fake a phone call. But why not counter their cringe-worthy question with one of your own? Just be careful, though, and try to return fire with wide-eyed innocence and smiles. (And be prepared for possible consequences, like smaller ang pao in the future.)
#2 Introducing a romantic partner
Do… get your facts straight – and that you both stick to whatever story you told your parents about how you met and dated.
Don’t... forget to remove all your naked baby pictures and other compromising photographs from the shelves. Then remind your partner to speak only when directly addressed, and smile charmingly the rest of the time. And no PDA! (That's Public Displays of Affection.) Even hand-holding may draw unwanted attention, resulting in questions about wedding bells or the pitter patter of little feet. (In such cases, refer to situation #1.)
#3 Comparisons with their ‘successful’ offspring
Every year, you listen to an uncle going on and on about his amazing son who speaks four languages and has the most perfect chopstick grip known to man. Well, why not teasingly show off your own success? Like maybe making up a story about how you shook the hand of a celebrity? (Although if this backfires and word spreads around, you need to have a good reason or explanation on hand.)
#4 How to refuse food politely
By the fifth house visit your stomach will be suffering from indigestion, what with all the cracker peanuts, love letters and bak kwa you had to consume. But how to successfully refuse food without being the recipient of ‘dagger eyes’? Chew gum or suck on a mint. If you’re already ‘eating’, no one will get offended that you're not eating more. Admitting to being a vegetarian or eating ethically – and explaining the evils of having shark’s fin – might only result in puzzled stares or a tussle over who gets your portion. But it’s up to you.
#5 An auntie disapproves of your clothes
If she says your outfit is too tight, too short or just too modern (‘Why only got one sleeve?’), try saying your clothes are from a designer label and it might just get her to stop!
#6 Le bui hiau gong or the language barrier
Chinese New Year house visits can test your rusty Mandarin, and dialects may cause you to raise your hands in surrender. You can shake your head or shrug your shoulders – which means you cannot understand a word they’re saying. Unfortunately, some relatives just don’t get that. You can, once again, resort to eating and drinking. Just remember to pace yourself and stay hydrated. (It’s either that or speak an exotic language to drive them off.)
Alternatively, you can bring cards and just enjoy the company of the younger ones who, like you, love their relatives dearly, but nonetheless are counting the moments until they can return to their family-free, Facebook-ing lives.
FROM YAHOO! SINGAPORE-ENTERTAINMENT
*back into the abyss of death*
No comments:
Post a Comment